“Everyone Who Hates Me Is Ugly”

Milo’s chatroom on Telegram is not a “safe space.” It says so, right there in the Rules that new members are required to read after intoning “HAIL, QUEEN MILO!”:

You are enrolled in this Finishing School to support Milo and learn how to be an effective agent of chaos. 

We believe in the supremacy of Western civilization, traditional moral values, the family, free expression, Christianity, capitalism and the ritual public humiliation of our enemies. 

We also have ground rules. Some to keep the peace, others because they amuse us. The Dean is churlish and spiteful, his rule is cruel and unpredictable, and his decisions are final.

I, for example, am at liberty to work on this blog post today because I have been sent to the doghouse (“Return to your scrolls”) for going postal on the chat two days ago.

I know, right?! Me?!! Sweet little old me?!!!

I may ::ahem:: have spoken in ALL CAPS about how sick I was of seeing nothing but ugliness in the chat and gagged one or two people for being disrespectful to me. (Okay, let’s be fair, only one, and only for 24 hours; somebody else paid for the other one to be gagged for a month.) And I may have taken the liberty of asking the recording admins to take names of those who posted anything ugly.

At which things got truly ugly.

There is, of course, backstory. And more backstory. And yet more backstory, going back to the very origins of the chat. Let’s just say there have been disagreements over the months about the proper purpose of the chat, what we are in it for, whom it is supposed to serve.

It is Milo’s chat, that much ought to be obvious, but this being Telegram and he being relatively new to the platform, there have been people who have been here much longer who don’t think he belongs. We have had several incursions of shitposting (think the worst memes you have ever seen, taken to 11), typically under the guise of “I thought Milo was about free expression,” but in fact simple mischief-making to rile up the normies whom the shitposters think have invaded “their” platform. Back last summer, one of my fellow admins and I had a lovely hour or so of Whack-A-Troll deleting their posts, until Milo came back and told us to stop.

Other disagreements have been more painful, causing (so I am told) much back chatter in DMs and other side chats, particularly over how much control the admins (purportedly) have. (I know for a fact that I have been called a “hag.” And a “cat lady.” Cat lady? Please! I am a dog lady, sheesh.) Some of it splits along gender lines, some of it along generational lines. But most of it splits along personalities and tone. In other words, feelings.

Why was I so upset the other night? 

Milo had been away several days, leaving the recording admins in charge of administering the usual penalties for Sharia Tuesday, Fur Friday, and Terrorist Tongue infractions—meaning, 6- or 3-day gags. Otherwise, nobody but Milo, me, the recording admins, and two of the other admins has the ability to gag people at will; everybody else has to use Thot-Be-Gone if they want to shut somebody up. (Effectively, this means I can gag people for free; everyone else with the noted exceptions has to pay. Perhaps Milo will change that rule after the other night!)

Given that being able to talk in the chat is literally the only real privilege there is—seriously, it’s a chat, not real life—being silenced is the most terrible punishment one could imagine, short of being banned from the chat completely. (There have been some so banned, typically the shitposters aiming to cause mischief, not Milo fans.) So it makes sense that people chafe at the gags.

“I like the truth you speak on fagchat,” one petitioned me by DM on Wednesday. “I was banned [lit. gagged] for being a good troll, and I deserve to be back to bring SENSE. GIVE ME YOUR HOLY PARDON MOTHER.”

I told him that the rules were Milo’s rules and, besides, his penance would be done in a day.

He remonstrated: “Mother, I was banned [lit. gagged] for this sentence [copied below]. I don’t see why I deserve to be punished.”

Again, I insisted that Milo was the only one who could grant exceptions to the rules (thus, by the by, learning what it means for Mary to intercede with Christ—he is the only one who can truly grant mercy), but the petitioner remained unconvinced: “Well, I want to believe that the action to ban [lit. gag] me, an OG exceptional troll member...wasn’t justified this time.”

Others were—shall we say—more public in their petitions.

Having been threatened with Thanos’ing only to be given the choice of who should be Thanos’ed the previous week, R. (as is her wont) managed to forget (purposefully not on purpose?) when Tuesday arrived and so suffered yet again a Sharia Tuesday silencing, her sixth.

Cue weeping and wailing at how unfair it all was not to have her presence in the chat. Except that, when the wailing started, she was still there, just silenced for 6 days. At which, a number of us, beginning with myself ($11 for the eleven-lined poem she submitted for my Xmas gifts), started to raise money to pay her penance, by that time $233 on the Fibonacci calculation. (All donations go to Milo, to help support his Friday night show. This, of course, is my favorite episode. Don’t I look pretty?)

Even so, the wailing continued.

Imagine expecting beautiful people like R. and F. to be capable of following dumb basic rules instead of allowing them to exist in beauty. Wow, this chat hates beauty. Milo would be so ashamed of y’all. —P

Prob the lesson of the day is that a decent amount of all the most beautiful and interesting people get knocked out of here cold or are gagged for being more entertaining than somebody else. Meanwhile, let’s just rake in the cash for R. bc if you like her, you wouldn’t just give her money yourself for having to put up with babysitting the spectrum sandbox. And that eventually a critical mass of people will see through the tactic of surrounding yourself with guttersnipes and balayage brownie failures in order to look slightly better amid hideous lighting and rejected fresh prince of bel air backdrops. —BS

And then, in fact, R. left (rather than simply being under a Sharia Tuesday gag), and the wailing and name-calling intensified.

R. is a better person morally than the vast majority of you fuckin’ hypocritical faggots and the chat is now 200% more ugly and lame. Big F. —BV

R. was a true beauty. —M

It’s not the same without R. —MW

Others were less convinced that it was necessary to bring her back in order to have beauty in the chat:

MILO wishes for us to celebrate beauty, but man is more than flesh. Beauty must be harnessed inside and out. R. eschewed inner beauty and only held regard for outer beauty. I wish her well in the gnashing darkness that exists outside the hallowed walls of this institution, but she turned her back on the rules then us. She isn’t worth discussing further. —CW

And all the while, we had raised the money—thanks, in large part, to one generous donor—to bring her back before her allotted time.

🜊

Why so much angst? What was really going on?

This being Milo’s chat (a.k.a. filled with agents-of-chaos-in-training), there were almost as many theories as players.

Some thought R. was just being a drama queen, trying to make the chat serve her own purposes, rather than Milo’s:

Milo knows the game he’s playing. And the lesson he’s trying to teach. R. doesn’t. Nor does she care to learn. All she sees is the “power.” —DM 

Others pointed to the privilege Milo had given R., to gag, at her choosing, one chat member a month for being ugly, the gagging to fall on the 23rd of each month, which fell this month on Thursday, the day she came back to the chat after leaving:

Bring back R. for sure. I give her shit but she is chaotic good. Only hatred of her is because you’re ugly and live in fear of the ban. Everyone knows how hot people can bend the rules. It’s a fact of life! Long live R.! —GP

Others blamed the chat itself for falling for such an obvious set-up:

Didn’t people donate their hard earned money to free R. from the darkness of the great gnashing beyond? This is an open-and-shut “fool me once, fool me twice” case. How many abusive relationships have you people subjected yourselves to? —CW

Others pointed to the fact that R. herself had spent months calling certain other members of the chat ugly, one of whom, thanks to the generosity of yet another donor in the chat, she gagged instantly on re-entering the chat on Thursday, sentence to be enacted in a month on February 23.

In Milo’s own words, last Thursday, when R. picked the same woman to have her chat history Thanos’ed, but who, it was pointed out, had done great service with screenshots from Milo’s show: “PICK A MAN YOU BACKSTABBING MEAN GIRL.” As one chat member commented privately to me: “Interesting choice of words Milo made. And as a consummate wordsmith, he always chooses his words with utmost care. ‘BACKSTABBING.’ Very descriptive. And the definition of the word should stand as both a clue and a warning.”

Meanwhile, once R. returned this Thursday, the main players in the chat fell back into the bickering and quarreling in which they had been indulging for months over who thought whom was ugliest.

And you wonder that I got mad?

It was worst Wednesday night, when the chat was still squabbling over how cruel it was to silence R. Having watched the bickering get more and more poisonous, Mom weighed in:

You all do NOT want to know how angry I am right now. The petty bickering. It is like listening to a bunch of mean girls. “We don’t need rules, we’re men!” Fucking BULLSHIT. I left sad hours ago. Now I am blazing mad. The lot of you. Where shall I start?  

R. made a beautiful poem. And you pathetic morons pretend she didn’t write it. And then M., who had the great blessing of being THANOS’ED on Thursday comes back in and starts picking fights with L. [also Thanos’ed on Thursday] over the pain of his broken marriage. And then BS. swans in, accuses us all of being boring and swans out. And then the lot of you sit around and congratulate yourselves on being such magnificent trolls that the best you can come up with is, “It wasn’t me.” 

Exactly HOW is ANY OF THIS contributing to the saving of Western civilization? 

I have been giving you all reading and homework for months now in the hope that it would help us actually BUILD something here. Many of you are talented writers and artists. Many of you are skilled at computers, or business, or medicine. You despise the culture that we have in the West now that does nothing but award people for their identities instead of their accomplishments. But then you come in here and squabble over who is or isn’t an e-thot?! 

We are watching our civilization DIE. @S. can you start gagging people, please? [He didn’t, just for the record.] And you all think you are going to win the culture back with calling R. names?! 

Why are we not talking about anything substantive here? GODDAMN IT, SHUT UP!!!! [The person who interrupted me here with, “Bitch mode detected.... Girl bye” was Thot-Be-Gonned by one of my knights.] I give up. You all go back to calling each other names and pretending you are better than each other. 

[To A., the one I had silenced] You may apply to @A. for clemency.  

[To the rest of the chat] Just wait till your Daddy gets home. I gagged A. for rudeness to me. The others may or may not require penances. 

Read R.’s poem again [It is number 1]. It is so beautiful, it hurts. 

We don’t know why [R.] left, it may have nothing to do with the chat. It isn’t like we are the center of the world, except when Milo is here. But that is no excuse for turning into a bunch of mean girls about her.

And the next morning, when R. still had not returned:

FUCKING WAKE THE FUCK UP [with a share of an article by my friend Tony Esolen—or, as Milo calls him, “Uncle Tony”—on the utter loss of confidence in Western civilization] 

Art, poetry, music, architecture. Beauty, goodnesses, and truth. If you are not fighting for it, you are PART OF THE PROBLEM.  

Since R. is not here, I declare the UGLY BAN. I want to see nothing but BEAUTY today. Starting NOW. @S. @s. Please take names of anyone who posts anything ugly. Mom rules. I saw far too much ugliness last night.... We don’t beat ugliness with more ugliness!

For which, when Milo returned, I was sent to the library, having overstepped my proper role as Mom.

As one member of the women’s chat commented: “This place is really an awful lot like a medieval court.” To which I responded, with a video link of Milo talking about his Twitter ban for making jokes about Leslie Jones: “Remember, this is whose chat we’re in!”

Which is, of course, the problem.

It is Milo’s chat. And Milo granted R. (a.k.a. the Backstabbing Mean Girl) the so-called “Ugly Ban.” But whom did he mean it to teach what?

It is clear that what happened on Wednesday this week was a set-up. The chat members who came in wailing about how the chat hates beauty were doing so out of nowhere. Nobody had paid to have R. Thot-Be-Gonned. Nor had she even left the chat when the wailing began. Not coincidentally, it was the same faux mourners who pointed out that she had left—before she in fact did. (I was watching, having donated my $11 to have her Sharia Tuesday penance paid.)

Was it all just a clever ruse to help earn money for Milo? If so, why all the name-calling and meanness, especially after some of us “hags” (it was all older women who donated to R.’s release) had pitched in to help her return? To be fair, there were some who were less than bothered at her absence (see above), but why make it out that their participating in the bitchiness purposefully generated by R.’s friends implicated the whole chat? And why make it out that the rules somehow unfairly targeted R. and F. simply for being beautiful?

As Milo commented when the admins explained to him what had happened in his absence: “All it takes is one misbehaving woman and all of civilization falls,” albeit, in all honesty, I don’t know whether he meant R. or me. (To which one member of the chat replied: “Rachel is rubbing off on me, I instantly thought of Helen of Troy”—perhaps my lessons are working, after all?!) R. returned at this point with an apology: “I am sorry chat for taking a brief moment of drama and attention and living in it for the past 24hrs, 🙌🏻✨there’s only one room for a diva...that’s Milo 😘🙌🏻👑👑👑. #HAILMILO”—and then sentenced CW to “3 weeks of reflection” for the things he had said about her while she was gone. And Milo allowed it, even though R. had left the chat of her own volition, thus forfeiting any further privileges of Faculty.

After which, she also banned V.—and the chaos started all over again.

🜊

One of the things that the chat members like doing is sharing photos of themselves wearing Milo’s merchandise. There is one shirt in particular that several of them have shared, including R. It was the featured item on Milo’s show last night, and there is a link just up advertising it in the chat.

“Everyone Who Hates Me Is UGLY,” it says. The joke works on a number of levels. If it is Milo himself wearing the shirt, the lesson is clear. Milo is, after all, one of the most hated men on the planet right now—go, check Twitter, I’ll wait. But do people hate him because he is beautiful? Or are they ugly because they hate him?

This past week, R.’s supporters (or accomplices) in the chat all pretended that the chat hated her because she is beautiful, although whether she is, in fact, beautiful is something of an open question, given that she almost never posts clear photos of herself, only ones that she has added filters and kitty ears to. Sympathetic members of the chat have told me privately that she gets weary of being hit on by men for her great ass, but, again, it is hard to judge whether this is an accurate description of what has been happening in the chat, given that she pretends all the time to have DM’d people her nudes. As I witnessed on Wednesday, I think the poem that she submitted for the 11th day of Xmas is truly beautiful, capturing something important about Milo and his love for fashion as an expression of his pointing us to Christ. Likewise, Milo thinks highly of her, so highly that he bestowed upon her the power of the Ugly Ban, and honored that privilege even after her diva performance this week.

Others agree that her presence is important to the chat, particularly for Milo. When it seemed likely that R. had left the chat for real, one posted an appeal in the chat:

R. will be missed by many in this chat. Most notably, by Milo himself. For that alone we should all be saddened by her departure—in that it has brought Milo grief. R., if you’re watching, I want you to know that your beauty and humor delighted many here, and that you brought Milo much Joy. I hope you will remember this, and consider rejoining us. If for no other reason, than for his sake. That’s my take.

After which, R.’s supporters continued to call out the chat for its ugliness.

But why would Milo subject us to this game in the first place? Why give R. an Ugly Ban? How could that possibly bring Milo joy?

Because, it is true, Milo loves Beauty—and understands what it means to be the target of hate. He also knows where beauty comes from—and it isn’t a photo filter or a bottle of hair color.

It comes from the heart.

“Everyone who hates me is ugly”—because hate is a species of envy, and nothing makes us so ugly as sin.

It was an ugly week in the chat. Even I got sucked in—thus my two days (and counting) here in the doghouse. Things said in public were directly countered by things sent to me in DMs. Accusations were thrown, sides taken, status asserted, friendships put to the test. I am happy that Milo sent me back to my scrolls to calm down; I was on the verge of saying some truly ugly things that could not be unsaid.

Everybody was on edge and miserable—Eris knew what she was doing with that apple of discord—except one.

Literally the only one unaffected by the drama this week was V.—the woman whom R. has spent the past six months in the chat calling ugly, the one whom she has now sentenced to her Ugly Ban in a month.

V. is the one who just this morning has been sharing the links to the shop for the t-shirt and to Milo’s donation portal for the show. She is also the one whom Milo has invited to be on the show in order to share her experience of following him as a fan. She is top of the table for posting in the chat, but the only thing she has ever taken over the chat to talk about (and that was in the middle of the night) was brownie recipes.

She is also the one who has done the single most arduous actual penance (as opposed to silence or payments) ever imposed in the chat—and that for trying to do what she thought Milo would want her to when (thanks to another game he set up) his position as Dean was “usurped,” and she declared her support for the usurping dean. And what was her penance? Recording herself reciting 100 Hail Milos—the full version.* Which she did without creating an iota of drama, even when somebody else stole one of her recordings and pretended it was his.

Her jokes, to be fair, are sometimes a bit awkward, but she has taken the brunt of the chat’s teasing for months—and NEVER LEFT. If there is anyone in the chat who is definitely not ugly, it is V.

No wonder they are all so jealous of her.

In her love and her faithfulness, she is far more beautiful than they could ever hope to be—with or without a great ass.

*“Hail, Milo, full of John, the Troll is with Thee. Blessed art thou among Trump moms, and blessed is the fruit and its rapist, M. Holy Milo, Father of Mischief, pray for the groypers now, and at the hour of our social media unpersoning. Amen.”

Milo’s desk, with his new bookstand—paid for with donations from the chat as a Christmas present to be a prop for his new show!
NB what books he has on it.

For Abbot Milo’s continuing lessons in virtue, see The MILO Chronicles: Telegram Diaries (from August 2019). For Milo’s own experience with being hated and what I see in him, see Milo Chronicles: Devotions 2016-2019, available in hardcover from Amazon and direct from the publisher at Castalia House.

To join in the training in Milo’s Finishing School, follow his channel on Telegram and watch for the link!