As any of you who saw me yesterday at the venue know, I did not do as well as, well, I might have if I were a different fencing bear. Div III Women's Foil: I won two of my pool bouts (5-4, 5-1), lost three (4-5, 4-5, 4-5, 0-5), and then proceeded to lose my first D-E (9-13) to the girl whom I had beaten in the pools 5-1. Tears followed...and followed...and followed...and followed. But, happily, because fencers are such amazing people, I was not alone. Huge thanks to all of you who were there for me, even as I was in floods, again. Special thanks to my dear roommate Lynn Botelho for being there to coach me through the only pool bout that I fenced like I actually know I can fence when whatever it is that is holding me back lets me go for the moment; to the ever-so-generous coach from my alma mater (Rice University) for coming back to talk to me even after I had broken down after losing to his student (4-5); to Kristin Vines for being there as I went to get water and smiling and letting me cry, literally, on her shoulder because she understood how much I was hurting; to Elif Sachs for much-appreciated praise on my fencing the day before in our veteran bout along with wise advice on why I am having so much trouble getting past myself; to William Hargraves and Nancy Hua for coaching me in my D-E even though I wasn't really able to listen and saving me from losing even worse than I might have otherwise; to Allison Thurman who, when she saw me crying, said, "It's just tension," and thus enabled me to forgive myself for crying, if only for the moment; to Suparna Vashisht for reminding me that in my D-E bout with her daughter (who, by the by, went on to make top 4 yesterday) the score had stood at one point at 5-12 but that the final score was 9-13, meaning that I in fact made four more points in the same time that her daughter scored one; to Julia Wu, for hanging with me to talk about how better to train and to watch what the other fencers are doing; to Ed Kaihatsu for wise advice, as usual, via text on who my real nemesis is (myself); to my other dear roommate Beth Merritt (aka Badger) for texted hugs; to Peter Harmer for dinner, laughter, and anecdotes about sharks; and, above all, to my husband for saying how proud he is of me for having the courage to come back even though I knew that I was risking almost certainly feeling like this again. Namaste.