In an apparent outburst of simmering tensions, sources deep within the Heavenly Choir are reporting that fighting has broken out between ‘the Angels’ and the newly created ‘Pokemon Guys.’ Asked for comment about the fighting our source (who would only give his name as “Mike”) said: "It is all about favoritism. First the angels were God’s favored, then he created these Pokemon one three day weekend – well what did he think would happen?” Apparently fighting broke out following a heated discussion between Gabriel and one of the new beings. “After what must have been like the thousandth time that this other guy taunted Gabriel with “Pikachu” – I guess he just kind of lost it.” Unconfirmed rumors are circulating that this battle may result in “some being cast out.”
This is me (the angel) trying to beat down the demons (the demon) that are whispering to me that I don't know enough about late medieval Christianity to dare to try to say anything about the significance of books of Hours. I should go back to my comfort zone in the twelfth century and read more commentaries on Scripture. I know how to write about those, but I don't know yet what to say about the books of Hours. Down, you demons of doubt, down!
Here be dragons. And doves. Human beings long for transcendence. Such longing is, for the world, always out of fashion because, of course, it is not a longing for the world, and the world knows it. We know what the world wants. The world—by which we mean Satan, the Lord of the World—wants above all our obedience, a jewel so precious that he will do anything to get it: lie, steal, murder, bear false witness, pretend to social standing, pretend to insider knowledge to get us to consent to his influence. “God lied to you. You will not die.” And suddenly we are anxious about having other people dislike us, about losing prestige in our social circles, about other people being more popular or influential or successful, about other people having secret knowledge, about our own influence and fame. “You shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.” And with that temptation, our first parents fell. The irony is cosmic. There they were in the Garden, privy to conversation with God face-to-face, ...
Learn to discern. We all know what sin is, right? Right?! Once upon a time in the desert , the hermit Evagrius Ponticus (d. 399) set out to make a list of the most deadly ones, albeit he called them “deadly thoughts,” not “sins.” You probably know the list, even if you don’t think you do: gluttony, impurity (a.k.a. lust), avarice (a.k.a. greed), sadness (a.k.a. feeling sorry for oneself), anger or wrath, acedia or sloth, vainglory, and pride (two different things). Not quite the list you were expecting? That is because some centuries later—we’re talking ancient times here, when centuries passed like decades do now (or vice versa)—Pope Gregory the Great (d. 604) revised the list, somewhat accidentally, in his commentary on Job. Gregory had been expounding Job according to its multiple layers—yes, that’s right! Job, like Shrek, has layers! —and he happened somewhere in book XXXI to mention the “seven principle vices” to which Pride, the “Queen of S...
It was just supposed to be an interview... A conversation between brothers who have both been on the front lines of the culture war. But then came the quiz... ...with all the answers tending towards one sacred number. At which point the true purpose of the meeting was made clear. “This isn’t an interview.” “This is an intervention.” Milo invites three Catholic intellectuals into a livestream with the Big Bear to talk about the Trinity. Who walks out first?! For wisdom is more active than all active things; and reacheth everywhere, by reason of her purity. For she is a vapour of the power of God, and a certain pure emmanation of the glory of the Almighty God: and therefore no defiled thing cometh into her. For she is the brightness of eternal light, and the unspotted mirror of God's majesty, and the image of his goodness. —Wisdom of Solomon 7:24-26 And the moral of the story is...? You decide! Preview on YouTube Full episode on Friday Night’s All Right at Censored.TV Unauthor...
Which brings us to text number four. Whose idea was it that knights should not be murderous thugs? Certainly not the Vikings. Okay, I know, I know, the blood eagle thing is a myth , which only goes to show that eleventh- and twelfth-century European Christians were just as capable of fabricating horrific stories about their ancestors as their eighteenth- and nineteenth-century descendants were about them (:: cough cough droit du seigneur cough cough Iron Maiden cough ::). But off the top of my head, I cannot recall any pre-Christian Viking texts celebrating how gentle a heroic warrior was. Of course, off the top of my head I cannot recall almost any pre-Christian Viking texts...oh, right, because there aren't any. Almost all the evidence we have other than archeological about the Vikings comes from sources written after they or their victims had converted to Christianity. Okay, I know, I know, the Vikings were not just violent thugs either. They also engaged in sophis...
Why am I not thin yet?! I've been watching my carbs, eating more meat in the past week or so than I had all told in a good five or so years, waiting for the promised Atkins Edge to kick in and the pounds to start slipping away. I've felt the fatigue at practice when my energy dropped; I've had the low sodium headache and cured it with beef broth; I've looked yet another helping of chicken salad in the face and managed to finish it even though I didn't really want to. Why aren't I thin? Oh, right, well, there were all those Cravory cookies over the weekend that my husband got me for Valentine's Day, but I didn't eat all of them. I didn't even really enjoy them, not as much as I would have in the past when nothing was so intoxicating as a sugar-starch high. And, okay, I'm still drinking orange juice first thing in the morning, just to get myself going for the day. And we had spaghetti for dinner one night last week. And I had cereal for ...
Leaving land behind
ReplyDeleteThe angel rises, wings spread
evolution soars
In primordial seas
the fish is seized by envy
leaps to drag him down
Gabe Poke Slay!
ReplyDeleteDateline: The Celestial Throne
In an apparent outburst of simmering tensions, sources deep within the Heavenly Choir are reporting that fighting has broken out between ‘the Angels’ and the newly created ‘Pokemon Guys.’ Asked for comment about the fighting our source (who would only give his name as “Mike”) said: "It is all about favoritism. First the angels were God’s favored, then he created these Pokemon one three day weekend – well what did he think would happen?” Apparently fighting broke out following a heated discussion between Gabriel and one of the new beings. “After what must have been like the thousandth time that this other guy taunted Gabriel with “Pikachu” – I guess he just kind of lost it.” Unconfirmed rumors are circulating that this battle may result in “some being cast out.”
This is me (the angel) trying to beat down the demons (the demon) that are whispering to me that I don't know enough about late medieval Christianity to dare to try to say anything about the significance of books of Hours. I should go back to my comfort zone in the twelfth century and read more commentaries on Scripture. I know how to write about those, but I don't know yet what to say about the books of Hours. Down, you demons of doubt, down!
ReplyDelete"Before" picture for Piranha Slim-Fast.
ReplyDelete(Now that one should apologize for.)
a haiku:
ReplyDeletetempt dinner with left
raise high the sword with the right
timing is crucial