The Milo Test

My colleagues in academia must be so jealous of me. I am friends with the most fabulous faggot on the planet.

You don’t believe me? Look, it says so, right here in The Chronicle of Higher Education!

Sorry, paywall. Let me quote the relevant passage for you (click on images to enlarge):

I like “cheeky paean” as an epithet for “Three Cheers for White Men.” And “journalist-turned-troll-turned-pariah” is amazingly mild as a description of Milo.

But my favorite line has got to be this one:
There’s enough of a mind-meld between the unlikely pair that some scholars suspect that Brown was essentially the co-author of Yiannopoulos’s thesis-length investigation/diatribe. In an email, Brown denied any ghostwriting: “Milo wrote it. He interviewed me. He is a talented journalist who knows his craft.”
Have you ever read anything hotter? I have a “mind-meld” with Milo?! I think I may need to lie down for a little bit.

It’s true, Milo and I have been in correspondence for almost three years now. Just ask Joe Bernstein. He knows all about the emails that I wrote to Milo back in autumn 2016—about Christianity and its role in Western civilization. Over the years, I have been suggesting books for Milo to read, and he and I have talked at length about the sex abuse crisis in the Catholic Church. Milo thanked me in the acknowledgements to his first book Dangerous (published two years ago July 4th) for “constant intellectual nourishment.” In return, I have mentioned him and his role in my conversion to Catholicism in podcast after podcast over the past two years.

It is hardly a secret that Milo and I talk. Nor is it a secret that I have been blogging about him and that he has shared many of my blogposts on his social media. Do my colleagues think perhaps to shame me by suggesting that I might have *gasp* taught Milo something?

The reality is far sexier.

Milo is not just my student. He is also my teacher. As much as I have taught him about the history of Christianity, he has taught me about how to write more effectively, both here and in my more scholarly prose. That “constant intellectual nourishment” I have given him? It is returned in spades by the advice that Milo has given me about capturing an audience’s attention and turning an argument to have the greatest effect.

I was not kidding when I told Tom Bartlett that Milo is a talented journalist who knows his craft. Why do you think Milo has been banned from almost every social media platform there is other than Telegram and Gab? Nobody in the conservative media ecosystem can command an audience the way Milo can. And it isn’t just because he is so beautiful. Have you ever watched the way Milo uses his hands to make a point? Or how he knows just how long to pause before delivering a riposte? Not to mention the richness of his vocabulary. I myself had to look up three words he used in one recent piece*—and I am famous for using words nobody else has ever heard of.

Milo has also advised me on my hair—have you noticed how much better it looks in my more recent videos?!—and he helped me with designing my set for my new course on Did I mention that we were friends? Friends don’t let friends go on camera without proper preparation! And, no, Milo did not help me with my script—but with our “mind-meld,” who knows? Wait, I thought I was supposed to be ghostwriting for him.

What an adventure these past three years have been!

Testing testing July 2017
Just think. This time in 2016, I had only barely heard of Milo. A year later, I was mentioned in the acknowledgments to Dangerous. And a year after that Milo wrote Middle Rages about me. Meanwhile, I have somehow found myself—mirabile dictu—overcoming my hatred of seeing myself on camera. Two years ago at Summer Nationals, I was asking my friend Ed’s advice about being on camera. I even made a few test videos, thinking I wanted to start my own YouTube channel. And here now I am giving lectures about medieval history on my very own television show!

Past me would have died of embarrassment before going on camera. Milo has taught me to be beautiful in ways I never imagined I could be, and it isn’t just to do with my hair.

Risus et bellum! 

Laughter and war.

The adventure has only just begun.

For Milo’s and my continuing adventures, see The Milo Chronicles.

For my version of the battle in medieval studies, see MedievalGate.

*hibernacle, ultracrepidarian, Kummerspeck. (You thought Middle Rages was scathing? Wait until you read Milo’s takedown of the klepto queens!)


  1. This is fabulous! ! What fun it has been watching the past 3 years.

  2. I don't know how I went so long without subscribing to you, but I will enjoy catching up on previous posts, and perhaps joining your series of Medieval studies! I'm just a little jealous that you have such a fun and continuous interchange with the Fabulous Faggot, who has helped me so much in embracing the concept of Risus et Bellum!
    Also, a belated welcome to you into the Holy Roman Church. Deus Vult.


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