Interval Training for Puppies

5:36pm By elevator ready to leave mommy's office for home. Ride elevator down to lobby, walk outside and pee (which, by the by, you haven't done since about 12:30pm, so not bad on the housetraining front). Sniff every several feet along the front of the building, occasionally making more than a few steps' progress before stopping. Make it to the middle of the quad only to see a) another dog, b) some birds, c) two little girls who at first are nervous but then want to "pet the puppy." Jump back and forth in play bows barking, but don't get near enough to the girls to be petted. Move a few more steps, stop and watch yet another dog. Somehow make it out of the first quad into the main part of campus, stop to sniff some students' feet (but not to be petted), poop, then chase more students.

5:49pm Leave campus, sort of (not the best road crossing, some dragging necessary not to get caught in the traffic, mild though it usually is). Start chasing bicycles and cars by running along the sidewalk until the leash jerks you short. Stop, sniff, occasionally notice that mommy is calling, "Let's go!" and start moving a few more steps. Repeat. Start to speed up just enough to make mommy think you might walk a whole block without stopping. Stop at least once every two houses. Pee. Catch sight of other pedestrians. Occasionally decide to follow after one of them, just at ankle level, making mommy run along behind the other person at just close enough distance to be somewhat uncomfortable. Stop and sniff the garbage on the ground. Do all of the above for two blocks east and three blocks north until you get to the main thoroughfare through the neighborhood. Refuse to go within a building's length of the road until mommy picks you up. Be sure to have walked through as many puddles as possible so that you are good and wet since she is in her dress-up clothes. Cross busy street in her arms.

6:09pm Arrive at the park where the dogs are usually playing. Run at top speed so that mommy can't keep up and has to stop to keep you from pulling. Stop and watch pedestrians. Look as if you want to say "Hi!" to the baby, but then start barking and running away when the people stop to pet you. Find something smelly to roll in. Be sure to stop and sniff every flower, blade of grass, stick, and tree. Run for a little bit when mommy tries to entice you with the ball that she has tied onto your old leash. Ignore her to watch somebody else struggling with her puppy on the lead. Find something smelly to roll in. Act as if you are going to follow another group of people, but still don't let them pet you. Stop. Try to go the other direction from the one in which mommy is facing. Tug really hard when she won't move. Run after mommy for about 10 steps when she makes that funny noise. Sniff the lamppost(s). Ignore mommy because all she has is that ball.

6:29pm Reach the edge of the park (about two and a half blocks north-east of where you entered). Start chasing cars. Try to say "Hi!" to the dogs walking down the sidewalk even when their person doesn't want them to. Sort of wait when mommy says to at the curb. Stop in the middle of the street to let the car go by that mommy thought had stopped. Finish crossing the street. Hear mommy explain that you are a corgi "which means 'dog' in Welsh." Hear man laugh: "That dog is called dog?!" Start following another woman at heel until mommy gets embarrassed and stops you. Walk faster than mommy can go comfortably for about half a block. Actually, make that most of the block. Carry on for two blocks north, then stop half a building away from the next busy road so that mommy can pick you up again. Struggle as you are being carried across the street. Stop to smell the flowers, drink in the puddles and watch other dogs for another block.

6:40pm Greet neighbors coming out of your building. Run upstairs. You're home!

Time elapsed: 1 hour 4 minutes. Distance covered: 1.5 miles.

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