Rain

An exercise in syllabic verse, count 7-5-7-5.

All my life I've loved the rain.
Water on hot rocks
Smells like heaven to me, a
Child of the desert.

Storm clouds over the mountains
Dark with promises.
Today I will stay inside
And listen to God.

Comments

  1. WilliamJanuary 19, 2009 at 8:15 AM

    The smell of rain on hot pavement does have a certain affinity that I enjoy on a personal level. I enjoy the look, the sounds of various tires make on the road, the clearing of the clouds and the Sun peeking through. It all adds up. Ways I can't quite explain.

    thanks

    ReplyDelete
  2. BodhibadgerJanuary 19, 2009 at 2:45 PM

    I like this one best, of your poems so far. I think the second to last line would be stronger if it read "Today I will stay inside". Just a thought.


    Badger

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fencing BearJanuary 19, 2009 at 3:39 PM

    Yes, good suggestion: "will" sounds more rainlike than "can."

    ReplyDelete

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